Endurance/Resistance

We all guys start from being extremely sensitive to the touch and very little stim can make us come early, but something that practice can improve.

How you guys manage endurance? How do you manage to keep it inside all the time possible until you feel is time to release it? How was your progression of building up endurance: slow, fast, medium? Do you last more while masturbting or during intercourse?

Never hade sex in my life, so maybe I can start trying to build up reaistance right away with masturbation until the time comes.

You can try, but it will not work. Cause the real thing is like 10 times better then jerking of.

Assfucking 25 tiles better.

In my first marriage I had not much endurance. I hated that. Tried things like thinking about non sexual stuff, but that only worked on random occasions.

Now with my finacee I can even totally skip my orgasm, just so I can keep assfucking her. I canā€™t say why I can suddenly do this, but Iā€™m glad I can. Now we can do 40 mins fucksessions and enjoying eachother.

1 Like

My advice is to focus on quality instead of the longevity of any sexual experience you may have. Iā€™ve never timed the length of our sessions instead focusing on the quality of the experience. The only ā€œtimingā€ I pay attention to is my wifeā€™s anal orgasm. Whenever possible, I try to cum after sheā€™s experienced anal orgasm. In fact, giving her an anal orgasm during penetration is such a turn on for me, I often cum quickly after she does.

Using professionally produced porn as a benchmark is a huge mistake as it gives the false impression men can fuck for hours at a time. There are issues of pre-mature ejaculation, but I believe that should only be a concern if it occurs during every sexual encounter.

I can appreciate your concern to ā€œperformā€ well when the opportunity presents itself, but my advice is to focus much more on the experience, her pleasure, and yours. My two centsā€¦

2 Likes

HA ha, you need to watch the movie, Something About Mary, with Cameron Diaz. The standard advice to go long is rub a couple out before hand :rofl:

Iā€™ve always been able to go long most of the time because I always want it to last. Though, again, if you cum too fast, relax, reload and repeat! But if you think youā€™re only going to have one ā€œoutingā€ practice edging to learn how to control yourself.

Itā€™s not uncommon for men to suffer from an inability to orgasm during intercourse, caused by excessive masturbation (also known as death grip). The more they masturbate and the more porn they consume, the more stimulation they need to achieve orgasm (they tend to grip harder and harder). Something similar happens for many women who always use a vibrator to orgasm; the strong vibration desensitizes the nerve endings in the clit and vulva for a time, and they can only achieve orgasm via vibrator.
Both problems are easily fixed with a bit of abstinence.
I would still not recommend building a tolerance via masturbation, because not being able to cum during sex is a much more frustrating experience for both sides than coming early and going again in a while.
In my case, it led to my then girlfriend to feel like she needed to do more and more and I felt defective and as if she was not right for me. Because after all, it worked when I was alone, right?

Apart from that, I agree with Colt. Focus on enjoying the experience when the time comes. Itā€™s not all about endurance, Iā€™ve actually had female friends complain to me that their partners lasted that long. And itā€™s not all about her pleasure either, good sex happens when all involved have a great time, trust each other to really let go and enjoy every aspect, not just some metric like ā€œtime spend thrustingā€ or ā€œorgasms hadā€.

Ah, but learning to edge can be a fun thing to do, as an orgasm after having edged for a long time is super intense. But if you go this route, do it to explore your own body and pleasure, not for the theoretical preferences of a future partner.

Something which really beeds to be adreseed here, is that when a girl gets fucked by a guy the first time, if he cums fast she will consider it a compliment. The notion is ā€œIā€™m so hot to him that he couldā€™t hold on for longā€

So itā€™s totally okay to just go with the flow when start having sex with a girl. If you feel good and confident besides her, sex will become a mutual discovery with ups and downs.

1 Like

In addition to sex, life itself is filled with ups and downs. Life passes quicklyā€¦ with both of us working and raising a family, I thought time would pass more slowly after our kids were grown and out of the house. Nope. It passes more quickly year after year. At the risk of being way to philosophical, enjoy every minute you have. It matters.

1 Like

As a 55 year old, I second that. A year is like 3 months. Never waste the time you have in this life.

1 Like

From a girlā€™s point of view, endurance from both parties is important to achieve ultimate satisfaction. @Colt1911 is correct about quality. For me achieving depth is better than going at it like a piston! Donā€™t get me wrong, a good ā€˜hardā€™ session is also fun. Foreplay and touch are delicious factors

2 Likes

LOL! Talk about endurance, for the most part, Iā€™ve felt like a failure as a male. This month Cate and I have been married for 23 years. For the first 20 years of our marriage, and 10+ years was a dead bedroom (DB). In those 20 years, the max I could go was 2 minutes before I would cum. How do you think I felt as a man? I thought Cate got ripped off! Regardless we produced 2 lovely daughters.

Something changed within me and I had to think outside the box and take charge, for we were headed for the divorce court. Cut a long story short, I paid & booked to see a female Somatic Sexologist first. In that 4.5 hours spent with her, in which she never brought up the past, or talk about our sexual problems; she literally changed our lives around 180Ā° in that visit. We got home straight after seeing her and we both fucked for an hour and a half before I cum. That was totally mind blowing, and we fucked not in our bedroom, but in the office with floor to ceiling mirrors. She cured our DB & reconnected our intimacy.

I then booked a Couples Only Tantric Sex Retreat that ran for a week. That literally was life changing! We attended our second Retreat last October. We are now more in love than when we first got married :smiling_face:.

Now about ā€œEndurance/Resistanceā€, the key for me was the right mentorship, the right instructions, the right demonstration, that has changed me in to a Master in the bedroom. A love God to Cate! Our longest of continual fuck was 4 hours before Cate became sore - done that a few times. We regularly do anywhere from an hour to two hours of fucking. I also donā€™t cum as much as I do as I have learned not to orgasm, but have non-ejaculation, to keep my life essence, to keep my Ching. I also build up my sexual magnetism as result. Cate before Tantra was insecure about me not cumin, now she doesnā€™t want me to cum as she wants more pleasure, enjoyment from me. She encourages me not to cum! It is a different way of thinking and getting your head around it. But well worth it with happiness.

1 Like

This, what you discribe, is the main difference for me in my current relationship.

In previous relationships, my orgasm was my goal and her orgasm was hers. And so many times our goals did not allign.

In this relationship assfucking her and seeing her go ass to mouth is the goal. My orgasm is still the cherry on top, but now I understand that itā€™s a very tasty pie, even without eating the cherry. Often I gladly skip the cherry because I want to eat the whole pie.

Even yesterday after work, I was beat. We have our own business and it have been an extremely busy sunday. While I was dead beat in the sofa, I suddenly felt the urge to fuck her asshole. And I told her in a non missunderstanding way, by sending her a gif of a couple assfucking. She was in the bathroom. Later that night we fucked, for a good amount of time and were so emotionally connected during the sex that she orgasmed by seeing my facial expressions. I didnā€™t orgams, I kept fucking her as long as I could and then pulled out and felt filled with pure joy.

Thereā€™s a massive chance I will use her sweet asshole later today, to empty my balls. Cause I know she will be extremely happy to let me use her ass for my pleasure. Iā€™ve saved the cherry for today. Donā€™t need to eat another pie. :heart_eyes:

1 Like

I got consent from Dale to talk about this. He used last about 5 minutes before cuming. When we started enjoying anal sex he would get close very quickly. I would take him out, gently suck him until his urge decreased then he would go back in my ass. This might happen 2 or 3 times before he would cum but stopping didnā€™t really work for me. We then tried me making him cum before we enjoyed anal. I would then keep sucking until he recovered. He was then able to last a lot longer and that was where I started to enjoy anal sex. Now a days he has much more control so we donā€™t need to do that although I still like to enjoy him from time to time before my ass has fun lol

2 Likes

Thatā€™s so good @Backdoorlover as you know what Iā€™m talking about.

I find it amazing at how much stamina, how much get up and go I have, just by being aware of myself, my psyche. Itā€™s about building that SEXUAL ENERGY/CAPACITY and expression that is sadly missed in most sexual encounterā€™s. It is on another level.

The sad thing is the bar is set really low and it doesnā€™t take much to be a top lover in bed, to have endurance. Why? Because men cannot go the distance, they can not go beyond the 20 minute mark. The magic happens after the 20 minute mark! Heck, I was a miserable lover for 20 years! The statistics are that 92% of women in this world, have never been fucked, or have known to be fucked properly. They have never known to let lose to abandon to a Manā€™s power.
Iā€™m sure the lovely ladies of this forum know what Iā€™m talking about and are in the top 8% that know how to be fucked properly :blush:

Iā€™ll leave you with my favourite quote from ancient Tantra texts. ā€œIf a man can consciously control breath and thought, he will never be subject to involuntary ejaculation or meaningless LOSS OF LIFE ESSENCE. But rather he will realise his full potential for conscious givingā€. And I might add, a blessing to the female experience.

1 Like

Ablut that last sentence: it took me almost a year to convince my girlfriend I want to postpone my orgasm. Cause she was convinced I couldnā€™t orgasm because I didnā€™t find her attractive.

I hear you @Backdoorlover . It is a common thing amongst females that they have a bit of insecurity about what you have mentioned.

I know there was a dramatic shift in Cateā€™s mind towards what you mentioned. As there was in both of our lives in many areas, but all it took was right education, right teaching. For that we are eternally grateful to our Tantric Sex Masters for delivering a fresh breath of air to our lives.

By the sounds of things, you have such a lovely, sexy girl/fiance. You are blessed :blush:

2 Likes

The Tantric sessions sound interesting. Weā€™re never too old to learn new things. Hell, Iā€™m 69 and we discovered anal just six years ago.

I assume this is a Tantric master working with a couple. It would make for a different and exciting ā€œfuckationā€ as we call them. Our anal sessions are quite good, but I believe in continuous improvement.

How does one look for Tantric masters? Iā€™ll start searching online but any advice you have would be much appreciated.

I donā€™t want to derail the exchange, but guys, please keep in mind a young, virgin man asked about how much stamina he needs for his first experiences with sex, or rather expressed his concern he wouldnā€™t last long enough.

Sure, tantra can lead to new heights, and really long sessions are great, but would you say this is what a couple just starting out needs? What women of comparable experience to his would enjoy?

Good questions. My husband used to last at the most, 2 minutes and I always felt ripped off.

Any young man starting out would love to go at least 10 minutes or longer. He would feel like a real stud and believe me, Cate here, every young woman would love for her first time to last more than just a minute or two (being the standard for a young virgin man).

Not only that, but my husband felt inadequate because he couldnā€™t last very long.

Tantra has changed all of that!

We just had a session when I got home from work, 1.5hrs with him almost cumming, but controlling it through breathing.

Ultimately, sex is a learned skill. Skills take practice to develop. Our first anal experience as a couple in our early 60ā€™s was not unlike a virgin couple in their late teens or early twenties.

I consider all of the advice provided here to be focused and valid, but the reality is skills will be developed over time. Each of us provided the young man with what we believe can help him in his quest. Despite the fact his first anal experience will chart its own course, our suggestions were sincere and meant to help him along his journey. My two cents in response to your comment.

4 Likes