Clit denial help

Advice
1

Looking for advice from anyone with experience on this, I am lifelong anal lover who after multiple relationships am now in a long term relationship and after years of having lots of anal have now introduced full anal only with clitoral denial.

I previously had done several month long trials only of the anal only both in a supportive relationship and solo and never really found myself as interested by the end of the month. P

As a trial I set myself a challenge to see how long I could go, expecting it to be a few days max. I am now at least 3 months no clit orgasm with no touching outside of cleaning, prior to this I had reduced as much as possible and for a week I only touched to edge myself and I still have not fully orgasmed since.

I masterbate normally with dildos but if I am craving rubbing my clit I will rub my asshole or use a vibrator on the outside instead, I’m trying to feel aroused and only feel that in my ass but I’m having trouble fully getting there.

I would be interested in any random ideas people had on helping me reinforce clit denial and anal only. I don’t love the numbing as it never really works for me and chastity belts are not something I’m drawn to but I am in a queer relationship so if anyone has experience with one that has a strap on attachment at the front as well as compatible with t-bar plug, I could easily be convinced!

I do like the idea of tape or backless underwear but I was wondering if anyone had ideas in between these. I think plugs are a great idea, and I want to get more toys like a hook and an inflatable plug but I’m open to ideas on toys for stretching specifically, as opposed to length.

I have ordered new buttplugs (platinum grade silicone to replace old jewel metal ones) and am planning on working up to wearing these more. Previously I was comfortable wearing for a few hours but I’d like to go for longer so I can do it all night instead of during the day.

I have asked in Reddit thread and main blog and everyone is like you don’t have to exclude clit stimulation! I know, I just find it hot to get all my pleasure from my ass. Which is a lot even though I haven’t cum from anal in a long time but I have before when I did anal only previously so it’s definitely possible for me.

Even if I don’t cum for ages- or ever- I actually am so surprised at how much I love not cumming, I thought I’d enjoy it in a D/S way but I love it because I feel so horny all the time.
Its no longer about cumming, I want my ass filled with a plug or fucked with a big toy or to be eaten out, and I want my ignored pussy sitting empty and useless except for being a lube dispenser. I constantly crave both fucking and being fucked by my girlfriend and I am equally obsessed with her ass.

She is a little less experienced than me although certainly comfortable and also having experimented solo prior to our relationship. So far we have had no issues using lots of lube and going slow and I love watching her hole slowly open up each time. I could eat her ass forever. I love our anal only sex life and I hope to continue it indefinitely. Any ideas or anything welcome!

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I’m probably not the right person to answer this, and I may see if my wife will answer later from her perspective. But I’ll throw in my limited information.
My wife is bi, although married to me, so to the general population who don’t know us they would logically assume we are a cis het couple.
We have been anal only for almost 10 years and both agree it was the best decision for us.
Much to my surprise, around that time my wife told me she was sexually submissive around the same time and she wanted some power dynamics to be part of our sex life.
She had always used a vibrator or rubbed her clit to orgasm during anal. We consensually negotiated the power dynamic and i told her she could cum as much as she wanted however she could ONLY cum with something in her ass - my cock, a dildo, plug, etc. initially this still included her being able to use a vibrator or her fingers.
After seeing some more porn with dom/sub themes I realized she was no longer doing any clit play. Eventually she told me she wanted to see if she could cum room anal only. Given her submissive nature, I then told her she could no longer touch her clit at all.
I don’t remember how long it took after this, but I do remember her first anal orgasm! And it surprised us both! Since then she orgasms 90% of the time this way. And if she doesn’t cum then she doesn’t cum. It simply keeps her arousal levels high for the next night or session.
Last year while I was away for work I added a command that she could not cum while I was away and that she needed to edge every night four times. She initially told me she found it VERY frustrating. And as she cannot touch her clit she does it by grinding her thighs together.
Over time she has come to enjoy the experience and aching throbbing it creates for her. A few months ago I made her start edging as part of foreplay. She edges 4 times while i play with her nipples. Then when she begs me to fuck her and I slip into her ass she cums almost immediately.
Not sure this is the perspective you were looking for, but this is our experience.

3

Input always appreciated! It’s pretty hard to find people who are actively practicing clit denial but not orgasm denial for the receiving party though it’s interesting you do embrace the D/s dynamic.

Have you and your wife always been into anal before being anal only? Or did you get into it from the D/s side?

I’m curious for someone ten years in, how long has she not have clit stimulation? When she edges is it anal edging only or clit stim to edge?

What does she think in terms of the orgasms themselves? As in without clit touching or a vibrator. Do you feel like she’s hornier without clit stim? I ask cause these are things I noticed for myself even without having an anal orgasm.

I couldn’t agree more on learning to accept the constant throbbing ache, it’s completely addictive!

4

Intriguing questions and I’m not sure I can answer all of them. I’ll have to ask her for her perspective on some.
We have been anal only for coming on 10 years, before that I’d say we were originally anal frequent, and the anal always (vaginal first then finishing in her ass) abt 80% of our relationship before going AO. We just enjoyed anal. I should clarify that I always loved anal. I’m think she’d agree that we had a lot to learn in the start. And she was kind to let me learn to be a better anal lover through education and experience.
I finally had the confidence to share my desire to go anal only which led to a few weeks of discussion abt what that would mean. Once we made the Jump a lot of tension disappeared, and our libidos both increased as well as our trust and communication.
I’d say it was abt a year in when she told me she felt she was submissive and asked me to be more dominant with her - e.g. pulling hair, forceful, spanking, etc. I was genuinely surprised and it took me awhile to get my head around it based on my opposition to violence against women. When she asked to engage in impact play, nipple clamps, and being tied up I had a very difficult time.
I have since done a lot of learning and Realized that consent is the real issue here and that in a healthy relationship the real,power is with the sub, so I made the leap for her this time.
When she edges there is clitoral or genitalia play with fingers or toys. She simply grinds her legs together. This likely is the clitoral “legs” that are stimulated. In fact we think that’s a likely source of her anal orgasms is the stimulation of the larger, internal clitoral structure, as they circle around the vaginal opening and can extend down near the anal opening.
So she can grind till she edges the amount I want and the begs me to fuck her. That has her arousal pretty tuned up by then - between the physical arousal and being dominated and having her orgasms controlled. After that I’m happy to have her orgasm as long as it’s on my cock, and again no direct clitoral touch.
She enjoys anal rimming and also loves to be anally fingered and can cum that way as well.
I do enjoy performing oral sex on her and u will lick her clit to orgasm if I want to, but she must have my fingers or a toy in her ass. If I’m eating her pussy and she wants to cum she may beg me to finger her, but she also loves me deciding what will,happen.
The D/S thing was her kink, and anal was mine, but out of love and a desire to please each other we were both willing to try to make the other happy, and over time our arousal levels adapted I guess.
The other night she had an orgasm that seemed to go on and on, she said it was one of the best of her life. I’ll ask her abt the difference between her previous orgasms and those she now has. I’d really like her to Jon the forum but her work is more taxing than mine these days.

5

Thanks for sharing your perspective! That’s a long time AO, I hope we can do 10 years someday!

That’s interesting about her becoming more submissive, my girlfriend has already told me the same. As someone who both gives and receives I have to say there must be some correlation. I feel much more easy going and suggestible when I have my ass plugged or after a session.

It’s sweet you both found a way to enjoy each others kinks together. Again, very interesting hearing from someone so experienced!

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I wish I could offer you some perspective as well, but apart from the fact that the more submissive my partners feel, the more they’re into anal as well (a kind of reverse causality? :D), I can’t say much.
But as for experienced people: I think you won’t find people more experienced anywhere else on the internet than in this community!

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I’m approaching 8 months of AO. I was advised that clitoral denial was the secret to making anal sex even better. My friend K has not stopped pleasuring her clitoras and she still experiences mind blowing anal orgasms (bitch). She gets the best of both worlds but that doesn’t work for me. I’m often tempted to give a little flick or instructing my boyfriend to warm up his incredible tongue but so far haven’t succumbed!

8

I am also trying to train my ass to orgasm instead of my pussy.

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9

I wonder :thinking: if maybe you tried to walk your orgasm down the legs of your clit if that would help you transfer the orgasm around lol
I think maybe instead of touching your clit try right beside it and go further and further away towards your ass …always with anal sex happening to bring out the orgasm first to find it but then to see if your inner thighs can do it then move it to your ass. Kinda working the legs of your clit till they work real good then pulling them back to your anal clit legs
…I’m gonna see for myself if it works out

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Purists will tell you no clit but Mrs Colt has powerful anal orgasms when touching her clit. It’s not a clitoral orgasm but the clit stimulation makes her experience a more intense anal orgasm.

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Yes, my girlfriend is arguing in this favour also. I think I will include clit stim but only with anal penetration of some kind either a plug or while fucking a toy and with the aim of facilitating an anal orgasm as opposed to a clitoral orgasm but I’m very open to further suggestions here if anyone had any!

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Our favorite anal play is her straddling my face in 69 while I plunge a glass or silicone dildo in her ass. Sometimes I slowly remove and insert a stainless plug in 69 while sucking her clit. She can anally orgasm this way but when she feels her anal orgasm approaching we switch positions so I can penetrate her ass and give her an anal orgasm.

Sometimes after I’ve cum in her ass, she wants a second or third anal orgasm. I use the same toys to fuck her ass while she rubs her clit or holds a vibrator against it until she anally orgasms. Give this a try and let us know how she responds.

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Colt, what part of “clit denial” do you not get ? :wink:

If the clit is rubbed, touched or stimulated, it’s not an anal orgasm. It’s really that simple. Anal orgasms don’t require any sort of clit stimulation. Hence the “anal orgasm” :crazy_face:

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Wow very imaginative. Mrs Colt is very lucky. Some good ideas there

15

Not here to argue sir. You have your version we have ours. You enjoy it your way, we’ll enjoy and understand it our way.

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17

Let me put it another way @Colt1911

Asume I put a dildo up my asshole. Then I assfuck my girlfriend till right at that moment before I cum, and I pull out. My orgasm will happen, because I pulled myself beyond the point of no return.

But then I say this was an anal orgasm, because I had a dildo up my ass.

See where I’m going ? The way you want it to be is not the way it happens.

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So I’m sitting next to Mrs Colt and she’s laughing about this exchange. Stimulating her clit simply adds to her anal experience. I’ve mentioned this many times before, but she throws the vibrator aside when her anal orgasm approaches.

Prior to anal, she only had clitoral orgasms. She wants me to tell you her anal orgasms are completely different, and better, than a clitoral orgasm. She’s truly amazed at your ability to know the difference between a clitoral and anal orgasm, and what she personally experiences, as a person not born with a clitoris.

If, according to your well informed and expert opinion, anal orgasm can only be experienced without the touching of a clit, then she’s never experienced an anal orgasm. Ironically, she loves and only wants anal sex because of the orgasm that is NOTHING like a clitoral orgasm.

19

Just wanted to say I appreciate the perspective here, tell you wife thank you! My girlfriend and I tried what you said but aimed for as little clit stimulation as possible and as gentle as possible.

Starting with tongue and then using a textured silicone dildo on me she fucked my ass, with tiny tiny flicks to my clit very sporadically.

She actually only had to do it a few times because after that I could feel the dildo hitting my clit from the inside and asked her to stop touching my clit because my ass was overwhelmed with pleasure. It was weirdly, totally different even than other anal orgasms I’ve had previously.

I loved it and I think we’ll do it again in future. My goal is still reduce, if possible to nothing, all clit stimulation but this is definitely more practical for me than having no orgasms from anal until I can do it solely from anal!

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Colt. I’m not making stuff up here. It has always been my understanding a true anal orgasm happens without any outside stimulation.

This info is found throughout the internet. I read about this stuff when I wasn’t even having regular anal sex myself. Because the question in my mind, back then, was: what counts as an anal orgasm ?

Every answer I found said the same: having an orgasm without stimulation of clitorir or pussy in any way.

Please look it up. Cause this is getting rediculous. I am stating a fact and you trow in your believes.

21

Maybe agree to disagree, or else make your own thread to continue this. You’re entitled to your own opinion and to share that opinion here.

However, I asked specifically about the nuance of clit stim within anal only here and asked Colt specifically for further advice here as they shared info relevant to my original question.

Whether their orgasms fits your definition of anal only is irrelevant and it’s bewildering to me you care so much to make sure everyone shares your opinion!
We all have a lot in common here- that’s the point of the forum- let’s not split hairs!

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