Hi, i am 42 years old now. Living in Türkiye. I am married but never tried anal with my wife yet. I fucked some girl before marriage anally and i am missing that kind of stuff. How you really find an anal only partner?
I think you don’t “find” them. It simply happens or it doesn’t.
When I met my girlfriend I never expected her to be more into anal sex then vaginal sex. She was the type that seemed into vanilla sex max twice a week. And with her ex she didn’t really like sex.
All changed when we got together. She felt sexual attraction like never before and was looking forward to sucking my cock, fucking and enjoying sex daily. But when anal sex was added to the fun, she really came to life. It didn’t take me any pursuasion to go anal only. She wanted it as much as I did.
So I didn’t find her. It just happened to us.
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I agree. It’s like good relationships can’t be forced, and the more open and at peace with yourself you are, the more likely it is you’ll find / attract people.
As for anal only specifically: It helps being open and process-oriented instead of dead set on achieving that goal.
If your relationship with your wife is good, I think you have better chances letting it evolve to one where anal is important than finding a new partner to be anal only with.
Oh, and: Welcome to the forum!
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Welcome to the group. My advice is to learn how to give your wife anal pleasure. This takes time and patience. Make her aware of the pleasure associated with anal play. Gentle touching of her hole while licking or rubbing her clit is the best place to start. I believe you can show her how this area of her body can provide a uniquely different type of pleasure. It worked for my wife who went from “anal never” to “anal only”. Best advice is to go slow.
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I was made, not found. I guess you have to ask every possible candidates, until one says yes 
.
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People are different. Aren’t they? My girlfriend seem to be my biggest foe in sex in the whole world. She has no interest in doing anal anymore, and no interest in healing our relationship.
I really hate that. I hate being with a partner who I can’t even talk to, and I mean anything reqlly. Daily to sex, to whatever.
Unpopular advice coming in….
Your relationship is not worth saving. Being sexually compatible is much more important than anyone - who never has been in a sexually satisfying relationship - will understand.
If I knew what I know now, I would have left my first wife after our first huge fight after 1,5 years of marriage. Me holding on to her, dispite knowing we were not compatible, has ended 20 years later in her cheating and leaving the kids (that she absolutely wanted) with me.
If I ran the kids wouldn’t have happenend and I could have lived a more fullfilling life.
So please, don’t settle for a non satisfying relationship. One day you will regret it
Why do you claim your advice is “unpopular”?
I’ve been at a point in my relationship where I felt ending it was the only option.
I’ve also been in relationships where I would say today I should have ended them after two months, when she did x, or another one where I should have ended them 1,5 years before we broke up.
From what I can tell, Bloom is unhappy and the relationship can’t be salvaged. But we only see / know what a clearly frustrated person tells us. It seems, from that, like the relationship has no future. But: Today, I am very glad I did not end my current relationship.
Again: It sounds like the relationship is not salvageable. Ending a bad relationship is always an option. So I would like to ask you, @bloom , why do you stay with your girlfriend?
Because in these woke times, it’s commonly said sex is no valid reason to end a relationship.
Got it. My advice to everyone is to stop worrying about what others think and make a decision based on what’s best for both people in a relationship.
The length and type of relationship factors into how quickly such a decision is made. For example, years of marriage with children makes the decision much more difficult because of the consequences and impact on the children. Your situation is a perfect example of a more complicated decision to separate.
On the other hand, if I was in a short-term relationship with a person who no longer desired sex, I’d move on in a heart beat. It’s possible the woman in such a relationship would appreciate it, especially if she thought breaking up might hurt me.
In ANY situation involving sexual relationships,
I believe the first step is to sit down and discuss concerns. I admit this is often a difficult thing to do but for anyone that values any aspect of a romantic relationship it should be the first step.
Life is short. Too short. I also believe sex is a critical aspect to all healthy relationships. Your recommendation to this member to move on is sound and in his best interest knowing what he shared with the group.
Other younger members have expressed similar frustration with their partners (male and female) who shun anal or any kind of sex. In addition to discussing these concerns with their partners, I also believe it’s the man’s responsibility to show their partner how to experience anal pleasure. This takes patience but it works. Mrs Colt will confirm this fact. Shame on me for not having the patience to show her anal pleasure much earlier in our relationship. On the other hand, it was quite a treat to discover my anal queen this many years into our relationship.
Since I’m probably close to the word limit for a post… my advice for @bloom is to have a serious talk with her and break up if she is unwilling to listen. As many of us know, he will find a woman he can enjoy blissful anal sex with!
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I’ve heard the argument “sex isn’t that important in a relationship” from incredibly conservative people as well. But never once from people who enjoy their sex life together.
My take is this: People who say “sex isn’t even that important in a relationship” / “bad sex is no reason to break up” are just telling us how the grapes they can’t reach are actually really sour.
Communication about sex, wishes, limits, etc … is super important and can salvage a lot. Good sex doesn’t happen magically because two people are so in love. But both have to be willing to discuss and work on those issues.
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I’d never rhought I would say this to people whom I don’t KNOW.
But thank you. For your time and advice.
I would suggest that that is the advice given in the past by conservative values, woke people like Dan Savage has been telling people to prioritize sexual compatibility for years and that if the sex isn’t good to break up.
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Anal changed our sex life in such a positive way, I decided to join this group to share experiences. I didn’t expect I would be providing advice but am happy to do so based on what I learned. I didn’t expect to provide advice but am happy to do so. Ultimately, you must make your own choices and decisions but there are good people in this group willing to provide help and advice. We wish you the best on your anal journey.
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My ex turned me anal only. My current parner just reacted positive when i informed him that i’m AO and is happy with it 
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So it means the concept of anal only life suits you. I remember you were a bit mad at your ex at the time, so I’m curious how come that you kept the anal only part seperate from his toxic character ?
I mean that many women would keep the anal anly part connected to the bad experience the man gave them.
I would love to hear the story of how you got into AO! Maybe something for Share ?
Yes, but i just prefer it that way. The men that i was dateing after him were are happy with the concept of anal only so it is just natural now.
Anal sex is very natural. Weirdly enough, after almost 3 years of anal only, I don’t see any advantages anymore in having vaginal sex.
My girlfriend (and my ex wife too) had a lot of trouble with inflamation of the vagina when they did vaginal sex. Like at least once a month.
Since we abandoned vaginal sex, she only had it once, due to a certain type of antibiotics. Her pussy is pretty and healthy since we’re anal only. And her asshole is even prettier and super healthy. Her bowelmovent is perfect since we are anal only. Before that she was constipated a lot, or had random diarrea bursts.
In the last 3 years she had diarrea once from sickness. That’s it. And even then she wanted to be assfucked 
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